Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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