That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
