Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
try to milk me bitch
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