Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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