Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
