im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
3 2 1 whiskey
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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