we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
