i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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