Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
