Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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