The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
