There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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