you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you never un-have a 4some
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
