Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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