i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
