The maid of honor just puked.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
vagina is talking i cant
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
