dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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