she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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