I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
