Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think your dad took our porno
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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