go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
