Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
