You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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