Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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