why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
