ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
