fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize