Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
