did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
