then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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