Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
