remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So vagazzling was a success
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