Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
