That's intense
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
smell my finger.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
