the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
