Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just tell him i said nine months
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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