i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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