You made me cry and you don't even care
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
well I can't set my house on fire every night
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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