Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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