I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Dear god my vagina.
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