They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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