So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
