Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
