I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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