I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
