what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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