No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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