It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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