You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Acid is not a monday night drug
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
