I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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