just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
