Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
